16 - A Childhood Emotional Neglect Christmas: Humorous and Touching Holiday Stories from The Nurturance Void

We invited listeners to submit their awkward, funny, or traumatic holiday family stories for this holiday episode. Anne and Alison react to some truly funny and sometimes tragic stories.

Transcript

Alison Cebulla 0:05
Welcome to another episode of latchkey urchins

Anne Sherry 0:12
and Francois Benjamin friends. That went a little sound of music. I'm Anne sherry.

Alison Cebulla 0:20
I'm Alison Cebulla. To be fair, I feel like we forgot to do that last time. forgotten to do it a

Anne Sherry 0:26
couple of times.

Alison Cebulla 0:26
Right. Thanks for bringing it up. And we are in the same house.

Anne Sherry 0:31
Oh my god. I'm visiting yours. You're downstairs.

Alison Cebulla 0:36
I'm visiting and in Asheville, North Carolina, and we're getting to hang out in person again, which is great.

Anne Sherry 0:44
totally great. You're tall.

Alison Cebulla 0:46
You're tall.

Anne Sherry 0:47
I forgot how tall you were the tall.

Alison Cebulla 0:49
We're tall ladies.

Anne Sherry 0:50
We are told ladies.

Alison Cebulla 0:51
I am 510.

Anne Sherry 0:53
I'm 510. But probably five, nine and a quarter

Alison Cebulla 0:58
last night. Your son your son was like your shrinky mom. He really wanted to rub that in. What a tech your kid.

Anne Sherry 1:09
Part of this the part it's at that point once you're like, throwing shade on your arm like that, and he's not here. I wouldn't call him a Jack in person. So

Alison Cebulla 1:20
he's gonna listen to this episode. Oh,

Anne Sherry 1:23
sorry, August. I don't really think that about you. Say that I'm shrinking. Tinder around that maybe? Yeah, yeah, that dude is getting tall. I could I was getting your

Alison Cebulla 1:39
kiddo is very Taurus. He's gonna be a very tall dude. It's

Anne Sherry 1:43
three for sure. Like I guarantee it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Alison Cebulla 1:49
My brother is also very tall. And we are tall. Tall.

Anne Sherry 1:54
Yeah, same on Tom side. Yeah. Is this our holiday episode?

Alison Cebulla 1:58
This is our holiday episode. And so what we did was that we we call upon y'all to submit your funny and or awkward and or sad. holiday stories. We said bonus points. If it involves poop. We did get one of those. So thank you so much. Um, but we got the most amazing collection of stories.

Anne Sherry 2:24
I think, Alison, I get you might hear. Like we get a little annoyed with each other. We, from time to time here, which is I'm really appreciating the deepening of our friendship here.

Alison Cebulla 2:36
We are really, okay, on my favorite murder, the two hosts Karen and Giorgio would talk about going to see their couples therapists for their podcast host relationship. And I think about that with us where I'm like, Oh my God, that's gonna be us. Because like, so gotta be. The more time you spend with someone, the more your shit comes up with them because you get comfortable. And you go, Oh, well, why did you send that text? Or why did you why did you do that? Why did you say that on the podcast? I don't do that. You don't appreciate what I do this.

Anne Sherry 3:11
week shows each other we talk about like, you know how mates choose each other. Like, we are in relation to something you

Alison Cebulla 3:22
need to grow. I don't know why we chose each other.

Anne Sherry 3:26
I needed a roommate and you nobody would do the podcast to do the show way back. But I mean, yes, this is true to do the podcast but it started way back. Ellison. That was

Alison Cebulla 3:37
no okay. That is logical. Because I was from California and you had moved to North Carolina from California. No, that's true. We both went Craigslist. We both knew what Craigslist was in 2005, which had not caught on yet and other places outside of San Francisco. Right. So I was looking for a roommate on Craigslist. No one else was doing. Want to pay to put it in the news. Yeah, no one else was doing that. So we both are from the Bay Area. We were both like oh, hey, ah, that's what happened. Okay.

Anne Sherry 4:09
Yeah. Thank you Craigslist for bringing me out. Yes, yes. Yes. I'm in this holiday season. I do want to say how much I appreciate you. Oh, you haven't a feeling I might I might be having a feeling

Alison Cebulla 4:26
I appreciate you so much. Dang it grows. You know. I'm feeling

Anne Sherry 4:36
younger. I need some sugar.

Alison Cebulla 4:38
You need to go get a drink. Okay. I still drink we're on our way to go see my boyfriend's band who has donated so graciously their song one cloud as loudly to our podcast as Yeah, amazing and appropriate theme song. I just really love that imagery. It's just vibe. So well with our podcasts if one cloud is lonely, so we're gonna go see Proxima parada tonight. I was sitting at the venue Gray Eagle.

Anne Sherry 5:07
The Gray Eagle. Yeah, dancer booties off. Yep. Dance at the

Alison Cebulla 5:13
shows. I'm not gonna dance at these shows. No.

Anne Sherry 5:16
I saw them at the salvage station this past summer was Yeah, right this summer. Yes, it's very danceable music. I like it

Alison Cebulla 5:28
that's fair. I prefer to do the white person move to just kind of sway gently back and forth

Anne Sherry 5:35
to let it go.

Alison Cebulla 5:36
I do let it go but I need to be on ecstasy at it needs to be electronic music. Okay, yeah. Wow, you should hear some

Anne Sherry 5:43
of August Toby Fox anyways where it is fantastic gamer music. He's like conditioned me to gamer music that would be very good on drugs I imagine Yeah, it's good without it we get we get out on the way to school with like, electronica gamer music. It's awesome.

Alison Cebulla 6:03
That's awesome. You rave in your car? We do that? We do we do. And so you will be hearing from August today which is which is great

Anne Sherry 6:11
and share a story with us. Yes.

Alison Cebulla 6:15
So I can't wait for you all to hear everyone's awkward family Christmas stories awkward sad lonely childhood emotional neglect family Christmas and onto them wait we I that's not being inclusive. I'm calling my own self out I'd wait you have a bunch you have a corrections corner. But sorry holiday not every story is Christmas holiday. Alicia story is not a Christmas story. It kind of is but I'm gonna visit okay. Yes. And what's your corrections corner homelessness, Asheville, go. Oh, yeah.

Anne Sherry 6:46
Last episode. I said that Asheville, the city of Asheville dismantled the homeless camp. It was not the city of Asheville, although I'm not sure the response that they put out was entirely Well, it's just complicated. And it was the DoD the homeless camp transportation department of transportation. So they came in but it's as we know, it is a devastating awful issue that we have in America and hard to solve and listen to outsiders podcast listen to outsiders. Yeah. So well, they in tune with your local communities. This is where we get all Wow, we're going all over the place. Let's just Let's

Alison Cebulla 7:38
just leave it there. Okay, Christmas holiday that traumatic stories. Enjoy.

Anne Sherry 7:43
Yes, enjoy. Okay,

Unknown Speaker 7:53
now that I'm a mom, and I know how much work and thought goes into planning Christmas for your kids, I have a lot of empathy for my mom who had five kids that she had to make magic happen for. One of my funniest Christmas memories is when my mom got me all dressed up in a black velvet dress with the white lacy apron front, white tights and a pair of little patent leather Mary Jane shoes. Because we were going to go deliver cards and cookies to all the neighbors. I went over to one of my neighbor's houses to make some Christmas cards I think. And I was sitting in her basement. I knew I had to go back home and a little while to help my mom. But as I was sitting there, I felt a little bit of a tummy ache coming on. And long story short, I proceeded to poop my pants. I remember very clearly just looking at my friends and saying I have to go home now, like right in the middle craft project. And I just stood up and walked up the stairs and walked a block that I had to go home crossing one somewhat busy road and I'm imagining I was about five years old at the time, I guess. And I can just remember when I walked in the door, and I had diarrhea and my tights and my mom was so upset and peeled off my disgusting clothes and threw me in the bathtub so she could get me redressed in probably some less than awesome outfit to go deliver all of the packages to our neighbors. So yeah, I have a lot of empathy for moms this time of year. And that's one of my funniest Christmas memories.

Alison Cebulla 10:09
Oh my god. Yeah.

Anne Sherry 10:14
I texted her I

Alison Cebulla 10:16
was this an anonymous submission.

Anne Sherry 10:20
This is Kara hair. She's a friend here in Asheville has two amazing kiddos and just an awesome mom. Super funny. Spencer hair is her husband. He's an artist here in town and yeah, I was like jackpot. Kara. You fucking hit it. You did a Christmas movie. Oh, resonate with the like I can tell her trauma is she's got it. Yeah, but I was thinking about my own that own poop story where I was selling girl scout cookies and I was probably half a block half a mile from home and took a dump in my pants at six and yeah, so I know the walk. I know that hot.

Alison Cebulla 11:12
Never pooped my pants. I'm like the opposite. I'm the anal retentive all the plans just staying

Anne Sherry 11:18
in you. Wait, you wait, if you get pregnant, you end up having a baby. There's some times you just don't control it. There's that mate? Yeah, but push it on. I can't wait. All the tubes. I have a bible tell it. Yeah. Anyway.

Alison Cebulla 11:35
I mean, my mom was the same way. Like meticulously curating every holiday outfit. I had. I'll try and dig some up and put them on Instagram. i She made me the cutest little child doll. I was so cute. She was like that was my favorite part of parenting was gonna pick out all the cute little clothes for you. I mean, little kids clothes are so cute. So my heart is not to care as much you have like

Anne Sherry 12:03
20 tights. The layers. Yeah, you can just imagine the perfect white tights. The patent leather shoes. I was wondering did her mom just burn that shit? Or that outfit? In town?

Alison Cebulla 12:19
I'll have to ask. Yeah. Burner a little Kara. Yes, the shame and embarrassment. I hope I hope her mom made it. Okay. Why?

Anne Sherry 12:33
She turned out she turned out all right. But her mom put her in the bath. I love that little like you know like that amazing. Just what it must have felt like to have that block and a half walk or whatever with all that shit just grinding into your legs and then get into this warm bath. So even if her mom was yelling at her like the the warm bath and she got her all dressed again. And they delivered the presents that it all worked out. Yeah, go Cara. Cara. Thank you. Thank you for that Christmas cheer. Oh, here's something that was so funny. She said. I thought she said when I was done with my craft, I realized it was craft. But I thought she said when I was done with my crap project, I was like, Damn, girl, that was good.

Alison Cebulla 13:17
Now I hear it was a craft project, but it turned out to be a crap project. So anyway, okay, so thank you so much, Kara. That's an amazing one. So our next one is one that is from Laura, who joined us as our guest on episode. Hold on. Let me look it up. 11 And that's my guess. Nope. Episode Nine, episode nine COVID-19. Mom's and the great resignation with Laura Hoffman. So I'm going to read hers that she sent in

she said my main one is how parents. My parents bought me a used piano for Christmas. And it was like a dream come true. They told me they would be paying for lessons. The lessons never came. I attempted to learn on my own. I taught myself somewhere over the rainbow and one half of heart and soul. A year or so later. My dad put it in the driveway during a garage sale I would I protested. He very unceremoniously told me that I never played it. I told him that I tried to but I didn't know how to teach myself and they had said they'd get me lessons. I told him it was a Christmas present and belong to me. He sold it anyway. Die dama died

Anne Sherry 14:52
okay, we need to do over here. So Laura, I just want you to picture Alison and I walking down the street. We're not going to hurt your father, but we're going to be really firm with him and say, Hey, Dad, no, you didn't hold up your end of the bargain here. You're not selling it. Or we you know what we would also do, we could buy it. We could buy it and and hand it right back to her.

Alison Cebulla 15:20
By me, no,

Anne Sherry 15:21
no, buy that fucking piano that's in the driveway. I'm imagining I'm imagining time. Okay, back in time. Okay. This is a therapeutic. This is a therapeutic intervention is yes.

Alison Cebulla 15:34
Okay, so we know that an Allison we are going bad and Alice

Anne Sherry 15:38
and an adult Laura can come to okay, we're heading back there. We've seen the yard sale. It's like there's the sign yard sale, you know, lots of things, whatever. On a poster board, we head up to the driveway and say, We'd like that piano, please. You know, and we just hand it right back to her.

Alison Cebulla 15:57
Yeah, I love

Anne Sherry 15:59
Laura. Yeah. With some lessons. Laura? Yeah.

Alison Cebulla 16:02
So so i think i She sent me this response, because I said that I'm really heartbroken for you. And she said, we only had space in the garage for the piano. And I remember sitting out in that dim space desperately trying to learn and just losing hope. In school in first grade, they gave us all violins. And I was so good that they offered me and they had me demonstrate for the rest of the class. Then at the end of the week, they sent papers home, that if we wanted to keep doing it, our parents had to pay and my parents couldn't. So they said no, and the school took the violin back. That was awful. I didn't I didn't know it was just a one week trial. She said I had such a love of music and instruments as a child and it always got tormented due to money. She said I have tried to give my kids more opportunities with instruments But funny enough, none have taken to it Go figure. Which I love ending.

Anne Sherry 17:05
Now's the time. You get the instruments for you.

Alison Cebulla 17:09
She did it. No, no, I have to say because she's my good friend. She did it. She took she got a trumpet. And she still has the trumpet and she got trumpet lessons in her mid 20s Yeah, she did it. She honored her inner child with trumpet lessons.

Anne Sherry 17:23
Awesome. Yeah, and I love I love the idea of a trumpet like we'd want to turn it around for Damn. Some Christmas action like Hark the fucking angels singing bars got a fucking drop

okay, we're gonna call this redeemable Christmas episodes because maybe maybe you and I, we come in as the neglect saviors or something. We're going to rework your rework your memories. We'll see.

Alison Cebulla 18:05
Okay, so what do we got next? What do you got for us?

Anne Sherry 18:08
I'm Alicia. Okay. And Alicia Simmons miracle who we just did an episode with she called in and her episode A her message cuts off. So maybe we could. I don't know if the story is here. So let's just listen to it.

Unknown Speaker 18:30
Hi, this is Alicia Simmons miracle. And I want to tell the story about my very first Christmas as a kid. My family has job witness and the Salvation Army in the 80s. We're bringing gifts to families homes. So this one Christmas, the Salvation Army showed up to our door. We didn't order any gifts. I don't think we was on a list and everything. It was just something that just happened. And we didn't have our house decorated. We live in an apartment. And they just dropped off like three bags filled with wrapped gifts. And it was five of us. Took them in my parents weren't home. But when they got home, we had to really ask and beg and we just like you know, these bags showed up and gave them to us. And my mom decided that we can keep them but it took a lot of us begging and pleading for her to say yes. So she said yes. But on one condition. We could not open up for Christmas on Christmas Day because we don't celebrate Christmas. But we got open up on New Year's Day. So if you stayed up till midnight, her agreement was you get opened up at midnight at the stroke of midnight for New Years. So needless to say it was a lot of anticipation. A lot of nobody really sleep

Alison Cebulla 20:00
Okay, that's that feels like plenty that I get kind of off, but I get it. I get. I think that was her whole story.

Anne Sherry 20:07
Yeah, having having talked with Alicia recently, too. I can imagine those five kids because they really It sounded like they really supported each other and I can just imagine just the anticipation. Oh

Alison Cebulla 20:20
my God, I know mom, I love that her mom didn't

Anne Sherry 20:23
just like send them away. They were Jehovah's Witness and you're just not getting Christmas like she had some there was some reasonability.

Alison Cebulla 20:33
Remember in the in the episode last week where we were interviewing Alicia, we commented on how much we loved and admired her mom. Like you said something like she she goes against your preconceived judgments of what witnesses I remember you saying that? Yeah, so here's yet again, where she was like, Okay, this doesn't fit into my beliefs. But how can I make it work? I like I love that.

Anne Sherry 20:57
Like she was a mom first. And then a Jehovah's Witness second, somehow, like some somehow the way Alicia described. I've talked with her more than just the podcast about her mom. And yeah, just digging how she was able to just it really is that that she mom's first but I Yeah, Alicia is hilarious. And I just when she tells a story, I get such a visual on these kids. He got presents on Christmas. And there's a full seven days between Christmas and New Years. Oh, maybe they had just with those three bags of wrapped presents in there, like proximity. You know, I just cannot may have to have her come on another time. And finish that Christmas story like fill in a lot of the details. So yeah, what I know is they got to open them because Mom gave them a day. That's so great. And Alicia, I want to hear what you got how to split them up.

Alison Cebulla 21:55
I was always that kid that ate my Halloween candy. ASAP. Like some kids could really have that self control and like let their candy last or eat one piece a day. I would eat all of it. As soon as I possibly could like as much as I could fit in my mouth and stomach. I was eating Halloween candy Hunter person like waiting to open presents. Like that's that was a no go for little. I was like an absolute there's no, there there there would have been deaths

Anne Sherry 22:24
completely so my older brother, I still have this still has think got out we only have the one kid but he would do this. It was totally on purpose. Like we come you know, excited that shit to come downstairs. And he had this bizarre way. I knew of like opening wrapping paper and the tape like a damn sloth, like so slow. It would drive me insane. And I'm pretty sure it was a torture method. Yeah, yeah, it was just I mean he was diabolical with that because Matt and I, you know, because we were trying to do the like, Okay, you open one you open one you open one. Don't do that. I don't know, maybe do that. Maybe some patients or something. But it was awful. Like it just it just solidified the on on. I don't know what the word is. But just total hatred for this human that was supposed to be my brother. He was my brother. But that just put him in Dante's level of how to create great that kind of anticipation for a kid on Christmas. Like August just said to me he doesn't believe in he knows Santa is. Ooh, we may have to do a warning on this saying Santa. Yes, that there is a Santa truth. And here he claims that he believed he pretended to believe in Santa for two more years. I don't believe it. Maybe

Alison Cebulla 23:51
I thought we were asked him to tell that story. Can we get that story? On your phone?

Anne Sherry 23:57
Yeah, yeah, I'll see. We'll see.

Alison Cebulla 24:00
If we can. We'll just plug it in here. Okay. All right. Okay. Yeah, he is all about us.

Anne Sherry 24:06
Like no, as soon as he gets up, he gets to open up presents. We can't make coffee. We can't do anything. That's just fine. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

Alison Cebulla 24:13
Do you follow? You're not on Instagram. But there's these big, big little feelings to women that run this amazing parenting Instagram account. And this woman just posted. Like a tick tock style, about the new discourse happening around Santa. I personally am in the camp that that thinks that telling making kids believe in Santa is lying and is cruel. I'm in that camp. I don't think it's fair to yourself. I'm in that camp. I

Anne Sherry 24:46
know. I am not in that camp. So here's,

Alison Cebulla 24:48
here's what she throws. I'm in that camp. And it's Anna and I have a thing where we're allowed to disagree. And so she said it's in posts and comments all over my feet. Eat celebrating Santa means lying to your kids. Do you really want to lie to your kids lying to your kids about Santa damages your relationship you will lose all trust forever if you celebrate Santa. And and she said deep breath guys 2021 has been a hot dumpster fire. But we don't need to cancel Santa Santa and magic and laughter can stay. Here's how we can keep Santa around all life while preserving our relationship with our kids. One get rid of the whole naughty or nice good bad thing. When we tie our kids behavior whether they're good or bad to getting presents or a fun Christmas or not. That's a shit ton of pressure to live up to that pressure can backfire and lead to more unwanted behavior. This goes for Sanas naughty or nice list too when I'm bad becomes their inner voice they're more likely to develop low self esteem and self worth and give up on trying to be good. Let's teach our kids that they're always good kids and even good kids make mistakes. Which I love that teaching.

Anne Sherry 25:54
I love that teaching but something in me wants to punch this dish in the face she's

Alison Cebulla 26:02
she's a toddler coach, coaches parents on how to parent their toddlers she don't tell your kid that they're bad, bad bad and

Anne Sherry 26:11
she just sounds sanctimonious. Anxious something like I don't know what I don't know. I'm having a

Alison Cebulla 26:17
you're having a thing you're you're allowed or you're allowed but I like her second point. She said brain second pointless rain Santa's as magical as make believe. I totally hear the lying point which I feel seen. I appreciate her to saying that. You're right. If we tell our kids that Santa is totally a real dude. And then at age 10, you find out you're lied to your whole life. Not ideal. And I really think it's not ideal. I think it's I think it's fucked up. But if you do the whole unicorn Fairy Dragon thing, you can do the whole Santa thing simply refer to him as a magical being. And I really liked that reframe.

Anne Sherry 26:52
I'm not hanging I just, I would not want to hang out with her at a party or something. There's something I don't know what it is. I feel like maybe wait a minute, let me see that picture of her. Okay. Wait. Ah, I might like her All right. Now now. I don't know. I feel like I Okay. I am being a little triggered by all this. For some reason. I feel like we did it. Okay. I mean, we did maybe because we do because your parents didn't do what she said it all went fine. August helped us out and pretended he believed in Santa for a whole nother year. Right. I'm not sure I believe that entirely. But to the point of where we threw we ate carrots with like, the green stuff on the top, like, lay, you know, like, I don't know, organic carrots that still have the green shirt on. So I'm following Yes. And we throw them up on the roof. Like the bids to be like because the damn reindeer. That's it. Y'all do that. Do that. They're psychopaths. Okay, well, but I don't know. It's turning out. Okay, now

Alison Cebulla 28:04
that's a double en one right way to do it. She's just saying I know if you're concerned about lying. Your kids try this. And I think that's great.

Anne Sherry 28:14
Go ahead. There's all kinds of ways to do it. There's I don't know, there's something that was April in my life where, like, I just, it was just such a downer. I mean, there's something I can remember viscerally like this idea. Think about this. Your childhood sucks, right? Like, it's just shit for the most part. Boring, whatever. And then there's this one day out of the year where this dude, I mean, this is like,

Alison Cebulla 28:47
No, I don't like No, no, no, I don't like it. No, no, no, no, I think it's creepy. Okay. So

Anne Sherry 28:56
well, I did try to get I did want to go live in another family and would like Scout them all for hoping somebody would kidnap me. So maybe it were my

Alison Cebulla 29:05
God. Okay. But we want like if you're listening right now,

Anne Sherry 29:09
and you were not being experts right now.

Alison Cebulla 29:12
No, no, I'm just saying we want to hear your opinion. So which team Which team are you on? So our email, our email is latchkey urchins@gmail.com latchkey urchins@gmail.com. Like, it's let us know which team you're on Santa. No, Santa is telling your Santa lying or is it not lying? We really, really, really want to hear from you. Like we really do. So send us a message please.

Anne Sherry 29:36
Okay, so I won't I won't threatened violence. If you are not on my team.

Alison Cebulla 29:40
You might threaten violence. I'm just saying okay. It's just a part of me. Okay. Yeah, it's just okay. Okay, so now we got a couple stories from Amelia who was our guest on whatever the fuck episode that was about how to start your own friend cult. So This is Amelia. This is we have two stories two short stories Christmas day

Unknown Speaker 30:13
when I was around 11 My dad was a tile setter in for my brothers and I had he needed help removing a client's bathtub. I protested on account that it was Christmas. But my brothers went along with it. And my dad told me, It's fine if I want to stay home by myself. So reluctantly, I went, and we took a bath tub out on Christmas I

Anne Sherry 30:50
didn't have a choice.

Alison Cebulla 30:53
I so so so relate to that story to my mom. No holiday is sacred. Any day could be a work day, any day should be a work day. It gives my mom no greater pleasure in this world than to put in a hard day's work. And so her idea of fun is working. We recently went to for Thanksgiving down to Mexico. We stayed at like this really fancy, amazing, gorgeous, like eco resort hotel on this hillside. It was so amazing. There was like this gorgeous pool overlooking the valley. We drink expensive wine. And we got back and my mom said she would have had more fun if we had gone up to my brother's house that's currently being remodeled and dug a trench that needs to get dug in his backyard. That's some industrious shit.

Anne Sherry 31:38
Jesus, no rest for the wicked. Oh, my God.

Alison Cebulla 31:44
She she would have rather worked. So I see. I see your dad Amelia. Like I, I get it. I get what was going on for him. And then I also want to see little, little 10 year old Amelia

Anne Sherry 31:59
Ryan, I mean, like nobody was in her camp, the brothers.

Alison Cebulla 32:02
The brothers were like, Let's do it.

Anne Sherry 32:06
How oh, what's the brother? What's the sibling separation? They're

Alison Cebulla 32:10
brothers. She's the youngest.

Anne Sherry 32:12
Ah, she but you know what? I hear the protest. I I liked that. You did that? You try. It was no way to overpower that you had dad with all the power and brothers who were going along? Because they thought it was fun maybe or whatever. But you did speak up for yourself. You did.

Alison Cebulla 32:34
But Amelia, I mean to this day, she's so industrious. She can install or remove the bathtub. She's literally remodeling her own bathroom at this very moment. Installing the tile herself. She removed the shower herself. She you know, she's she's a builder. So I mean, yeah, thanks, Dad. Yeah, I don't know. Come on, take a day off.

Anne Sherry 32:56
And Allison's Mom. Come on a little space between

Alison Cebulla 32:59
this not gonna happen. It's not gonna happen. It's not gonna happen. Okay, so here's our second submission from Amelia

Unknown Speaker 33:12
growing up, we had a wood burning stove. So when you for Christmas, my father got my brothers and I an axe suite to keep ourselves warm. I was probably 10

Anne Sherry 33:27
Oh, you did get some good skills to bake. In Austria. Yes, yes. Yes. Yeah. So um,

Alison Cebulla 33:39
I mean, because to this day, she last winter she installed a wood burning stove in her house. I love I love it. Like my boyfriend and I were just talking about how we want one and it's amazing. And I was like, you're just gonna do all that and she did it. She installed it. She installed like a tile thing around it, you know and like drilled through the wall and put a you know event through she did the whole thing. That's,

Anne Sherry 34:03
that's some killer stuff right there. I know for sure. And we also know

Alison Cebulla 34:09
hatch it at age 10

Anne Sherry 34:15
There was stitches, whatever you could get sewn up.

Alison Cebulla 34:18
I don't know. Have you been to the new hatchet throwing places? It's like oh, trends. Now that's I kept thinking that No, I went to one. Tell me about it. What is it harder than it looks? You think you're just gonna throw it and it's gonna like, you know, lodge into the wood thing. You're throwing it out but sometimes they just like bounce off.

Anne Sherry 34:36
There's alcohol. No, no, no, there's

Alison Cebulla 34:39
not. There's no no no, there's no alcohol. No, no, like in San Francisco. Yeah, there's no alcohol. No, no, you just go throw axes for a half hour and then go to the bar. You know,

Anne Sherry 34:51
got it. Yeah, I thought there was mixing of alcohol and hatchets. Oh, no. It's

Alison Cebulla 34:56
like a little session. You know, like you just go in for your like your little Like if you're going to like a bat, a batting cage or something, like I

Anne Sherry 35:04
got it. Yeah, that's reasonable,

Alison Cebulla 35:06
I guess. Okay. Yeah. It's pretty fun.

Anne Sherry 35:09
It's interesting. There's that and then there's the Smash rooms. Do you know about smash room? Oh, where are you talking shit out of stuff like break windows with a bat. I

Alison Cebulla 35:21
guess we got to do that as a kid because my dad has demoed a few houses. He's always working as a hobby, renovating homes. And he would he'd be like, okay, like drywall is going so you know, here's a bat or a hammer or whatever, and it was fun

Anne Sherry 35:34
on HGTV that was the best part of what's what's what's your names Demo Day with Chip and Joanna ship and yeah, everybody loves that. That's why that shows really popular because they do my show. I think we really do like to break shit down. I agree for sure.

Alison Cebulla 35:51
I love that show. Yeah, I don't I don't even like those types of shows. But they are great. I don't Yeah, there's a reason they're so popular. Okay,

Anne Sherry 35:58
great. Yeah,

Alison Cebulla 35:59
so what do you got next?

Anne Sherry 36:02
I don't Can you play Sue I'll play friend Sue

Alison Cebulla 36:06
neither of us have heard this one.

Anne Sherry 36:08
Okay

Unknown Speaker 36:17
I used to exchange Christmas presents with a number of people but as an adult an older adult now I only exchange presents with my one son and he was just clearly not into it. So this year I suggested that we not exchange presents except maybe local locally made chocolate which is of course always wonderful. There is a part of me that is sad that there isn't someone out there who's thinking what would be a great present for Sue which is true not only for Christmas but also for my birthday so yeah, kind of a mixed blessing kind of a thing I think it's a wise choice in many ways. But there is some some sadness about it and also I tend to buy things for myself which is not such a good thing because I overdo that

Anne Sherry 37:32
ah sorry

to Sue is a dear dear human just a wonderful person on this planet and then yeah, just hearing her talk about the parts and what I was struck by is like whoever inside her that buys for her you know I get that wanting to but just she's just spoke of the loneliness

Alison Cebulla 37:58
so yeah, like acknowledging are like a such a human emotion I love that she acknowledged like I feel there's some sadness like I just love that like, life is complex and when you make a choice and you give one thing up you're you know another feeling is brought in and it's like the idea of feeling like someone is thinking about the perfect gift for you is so that's such a like yeah, feeling I don't know that I've acknowledged before Yes, it makes me kind of teary eyed.

Anne Sherry 38:27
Yeah, and the the other piece I'm noticing here because Tom and I struggle that's just like oh, what do you like it's a burden to buy for each other like we're not super materialistic but I her courage in it and saying I long or wish for like somebody buying something for me what I'm realizing is I am fully in the neglect camp I don't even want to approach that it's like I go to sour grapes I'm like fuck all this shit is bullshit all this buying stuff you would think like that I'm it's because I'm into the true spirit of Christmas of being with each other and and that this consumerism is crap which it is. But I think there's a part of it that is I have no clue. I don't want to want for anything because I don't want the disappointment of not getting it or getting something or whatever. So yeah, so I hats off to you sue for actually going into the feeling space around it. You

Alison Cebulla 39:38
feel your feelings

Anne Sherry 39:42
you know better than that. Is it my goddess? is better than that. You know how I feel about feelings?

Alison Cebulla 39:50
We love it. We love as we know it's important. Okay, so we have one from Tyler who was on how come I don't have these up? I don't know which one it was, let me see. Episode 11, the middle school to drug addiction pipeline. So he sent one, he sent one in

Tyler Tamai 40:16
Oh, hey, it's your boy. Tyler. I want to preface this by saying, if you're a human and you're living through a holiday season, it's hard. It's tough. And you probably know people who are struggling alongside of you. And maybe showing up for somebody who's struggling is particularly difficult this time of year. It could it could mean a lot, you can make a big difference in somebody's life. And yeah, we all have at least one holiday season that from the past that has like, you know, heavy so come with me though. And we'll talk about one of mine. So it was about 25 years ago or so. And I was I was a wee lad. And having had a pretty privileged childhood, it was not uncommon that my family which was me my dad, mom, and my brother would go on vacation somewhere snowing. In this particular case, it was Tahoe. We did that on the wind the winters that said that either way, that's what we were doing. And so this particular year, we had gone with another family who had two daughters that were similar in age to my brother and myself. And yeah, so hanging out in Tahoe, maybe doing some skin hitting the casinos, family stuff, holiday stuff. Good quality time. And then my parents decided that this was the most appropriate time to tell my brother and I that they were getting divorced and then to finish out the vacation that's it that's the whole story. Yeah, I don't actually remember if it was Christmas, but in my my child's brain. I remember like the next day it was bare, there was so much snow and everything was covered in snow, which if I thought about it, I could create some sort of metaphor but now so it could have been in like January was my point but either way I will never not think about it during the holiday season or snowy times so Happy Holidays

Alison Cebulla 43:10
okay, what I want to say to our listeners is that um, this wasn't just recording he sent a video in which he's sitting in front of a fireplace with stockings hung over the fireplace and a Christmas tree and he's wearing a sweater it's almost like a Mr. Rogers kind of video I learned Tyler we will post this to Instagram and to our show notes page. Yes, have to see the video version like you just absolutely must see it.

Anne Sherry 43:37
Tyler's bringing it fully committed. And I love that he is starts by reaching out to people that you know, just be kind around this time that maybe some of that comes from the experience of having his perfect vacation blown apart by his family breaking

Alison Cebulla 44:03
his family reporting Christmas.

Anne Sherry 44:07
I want to go and like find out like, because there were conversations about that that does not it sounds like the Tahoe vacation was a consolation prize for telling them that they weren't gonna get divorced. So sounds like it might have come from some a good intention. But don't do that. Don't leave the vacation. There's

Alison Cebulla 44:32
a thing that you always do on this podcast and where you feel like you need to like warn people or tell people what to do or not do I'm so curious about that part. Are you worried that our listeners are out there like abusing left and right or like

Anne Sherry 44:47
I don't know young kids very tele rather than trusting, right? I'm getting very like PSA like here's how not to have the divorce conversation right? Don't do that. Maybe because as a therapist, I have to for the most part, I just have to trust that people are you know, I can't. I don't tell people what to do, either. There's

Alison Cebulla 45:11
a part of you that needs to tell people now. Yeah, she's

Anne Sherry 45:15
wild. That's the power of being able to say do this. Don't do this, you know, so? I don't know. Yeah. Thanks for Thanks for catching that. Allison. Now that I will I may or may not stop it. I don't know. But balancing out having to hold space all day as a therapist, I really want to be saying all

Alison Cebulla 45:35
the things. Yeah,

Anne Sherry 45:37
tell that fucking idiot You're a fucking asshole. Things like that. I think every therapist has this fantasies of being able now, rather than allowing the client to come to places, got it granted, like if there's, you know, there's limits. If there's hardcore stuff going on, you're gonna say, Huh, I really think this is not a good situation that this is a you need to be out of this because it's dangerous. So, but we're mostly in the range of having to let people find their way and support them. So

Alison Cebulla 46:21
we are all right. We trust that you will tell your kids about your divorce in in the most dramatic way.

Anne Sherry 46:33
Yeah. Well, just Tyler just said it. I never have holiday season without thinking about being told my parents were getting a divorce. So that's, that's a thing that's in there now. So just pick a like, pick out the most boring time like a Wednesday at 1140 in the morning. You know,

Alison Cebulla 46:53
good way. Do not touch your mic. There's no good way to tell your kids that you're getting divorced.

Anne Sherry 46:58
I guess not. Don't tell them just leave, right. Just say we're getting two houses and one's gonna be an air b&b. And

Alison Cebulla 47:11
you're like, Okay, this was my literal reaction to my parents divorcing is that I was like sweet two houses. Literally. I remember having that thought in my head. I was like, great. Well, yeah, if my parents didn't get along that well, anyway, so yeah, yeah. Okay, so we have one other minor. We have one. This is the last set one. Oh, but okay. Um, okay. So, um, this was submitted anonymously. Okay. Okay. Last year, my dad was mad at my stepmom for some reason. So Christmas morning was a real bummer. I have some younger siblings that are still in the quote, stoked for opening presents age. So we had to do the Christmas morning gift thing. But with the added weird energy of passive aggressive, married, married, have a passive aggressive married couple fight. Now, I obviously didn't know my dad, pre divorce. I don't know why that's obvious. Okay. But the only times I see him, seemingly without the weight of all that broken family stuff, is when he's a little buzzed. Dude is a total mellow and funny person. So my genius plan was to get all the adults drinking on Christmas morning. No one else was game. So I ended up drinking alone, while the kids open presents. And my dad was in a bad mood. And my brother recorded it with his phone because he does that at Christmas now. And boy, did I not enjoy any of that.

Tyler Tamai 48:42
Ah,

Alison Cebulla 48:46
this was a perfect one to go after Tyler. Yeah.

Anne Sherry 48:53
Break it off.

Alison Cebulla 48:57
And I asked a clarifying question about what is what's the takeaway? The takeaway is unresolved trauma causes mistrust, combined with poor communication skills, and also people need to need to time and place it when they take home movies.

Anne Sherry 49:15
For real, yeah, that's right. They're so they're forever enshrined,

Alison Cebulla 49:21
but it's amazing. Like, I don't know, they felt like there's some divorce baggage coming up in this in this anonymous story. And it's like, like, people carry that shit their whole lives.

Anne Sherry 49:34
100% Yeah, even if it's like a good thing that I mean you still there's still a loss right? Like you still need there's a lot to grieve

Alison Cebulla 49:46
but I'm saying I feel like people carry a lot of resentment and bitterness to

Anne Sherry 49:50
write well tamaraws Grief Recovery process right and help a lot because you get to feel all be honest about Got it. Right. Like, not be like, well, they were terrible together. So it was a good thing or we shouldn't you know, but should what? Um, who was it that, uh, on the Okay, so, Elise? Uh huh. Right when five. Their parents getting divorced? Yeah. It was like, it was a good thing. So I guess I don't get I haven't I shouldn't have any feelings about it. Right, right. Right, right. Right. Right. I did say that. Yeah. So you gotta let all the parts all the ages speak. You need to almost like Gestalt therapy. Right? Do you know this? Were the US also,

Alison Cebulla 50:37
I wonder chairs? Yeah, the anonymous person who submitted this to us, like, you know, could and This Is Us offering unsolicited therapy. But you know, hey, that's what we're here for. And of like, like you just said, like, taking time to notice, like that part that wanted to be like, I can solve this Christmas, and it'll be so mellow if we just drink together. Yeah. And instead go like, where's the original hurt? Like, where's the pain and like, honor that wounded inner child? Yeah. And then adding a strategy

Anne Sherry 51:10
of trying to solve it. Right. That needs honoring to. Yeah,

Alison Cebulla 51:17
what needs how explain that more. I'm curious about that. What needs honoring,

Anne Sherry 51:21
there's a pain right that try I tried to solve it. I want I want everybody to just get along. But it backfires. Right. So I want us all to drink together.

Alison Cebulla 51:32
Yeah, yeah. But what about

Anne Sherry 51:36
what? We often are like, God, what an idiot. Why did I do that? I'm a terrible person or this stupid thing to do. Yeah. I mean, from this internal family systems parts model, like all parts are trying to help. They do have a good intention. So I see. I see. It's hard to Yeah, so it's covering up the pain. I don't want us to be in pain, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So but often it ends up still trauma works, it causes more pain. That's it you're trying to avoid happens, right? Because we're not actually being with the wound, right? Yeah. But don't go being with your wounds with family this Christmas, get a therapist.

Alison Cebulla 52:19
Or just like, bring. See there's, there's the there's your part again, that wants to tell people what to do. I know I can hear

Anne Sherry 52:29
ya say the shit out of stuff here. Families are the hardest, you can work in therapy for years. And then you like head home and you're like, I've got this I've got so I'm just gonna say this is how it goes. I've got it. I've solved a lot. I've grieved a lot. I've dealt with a lot. But getting back in those family environments, that is like, stuff will come flying back up. I mean, it's a it's a known thing. You know, it's like a PhD program and healing or whatever, like by the time you get back in family, and you will drop back into a lot of the same patterns. So be kind to yourselves. We're coming up. Well, I guess we've already had one holiday right Thanksgiving. But Christmas is heavy. There's lots of holiday. Well, my Tyler was

Alison Cebulla 53:20
saying like, there's lots of reasons why like your parents may have gone through a divorce or there may have been excess drinking in your family around the holidays. Or like, for me, I think like I said, I was like a little sugar addict as a kid. So I would always ALWAYS, ALWAYS every Christmas gets sick because I would eat too much sugar. And and so Christmas is also my birthday. And my birthday is on December 22. So this was not every single Christmas birthday photo of me every single one growing up. I have I'm like sick. I have like a rash all over my face. Every year, every year. I think that's also like a high I lived in kind of a high stress home. My mom has done a lot of repair work with me, which I really applaud her for to say. I know she has said I know that I stressed you out when you were a kid. I know that I did that to you and I'm sorry, which has been the most amazing gift. She was like I want to sit down and I just need you to know that I know that I stressed you out as a kid and I'm sorry. Yay, ma

Anne Sherry 54:33
apologies. Hello. All right, August send us when to listen to there's two there's a 46 second and a 92nd. So here we go.

Unknown Speaker 54:45
It was like so annoying because I like kept telling them that like I don't believe in Santa. I don't believe in Santa Santa. Not real Santa not real. And they were like, come on Santa. Look Like, I'm sure some to have carrots on the roof for some reason, and I knew it and they were just like, come on. Just real look, there's carrots, carrots on the roof because because I'm oh god because like the reindeer and they actually I wouldn't rather eaten one of those cookies. Like, come on you can and then you're okay, I do believe, like Santa being like a good thing like it having it be good thing. But like once they say Santa is not real. Like what go not like what my parents said. It's just

Alison Cebulla 55:48
Okay, I think I think August and I are on the same side. I think August and I on the same side on this one. And two points are not lying to your kids.

Anne Sherry 56:01
But he did say I think it's a good thing. Just once they tell you they know. Let go. Right. So we got little we got a little rhyme there. tell you they know. Like, damn, I was so proud. Yeah, this is another one where you know, we were just like, oh my god, this is we knew it. We knew he was getting to the end of the Santa thing. We wanted one more year. We wanted one more year. Tom and I needed one more year because we only have the one kid so yes, we had a what do you call it? agenda? We had a Santa's agenda. So we came up with the carrot idea. And we were so so psyched. So we're obviously I am now learning that he was like that was fun. He didn't say the F word though. But inside his little fucking annoying like

Alison Cebulla 57:04
he did say it was so annoying. You did? Yeah, yeah. All right.

Anne Sherry 57:09
So I don't know just do whatever and you always want to fuck it. Here's what you want Allison Garcia policy on it. We need public policy on the Santa. Like, what does the research say? What does the research say? It does sound like me. It does research say where's I just kinda laid

Alison Cebulla 57:28
out there's research online your kids about Santa like I just Yeah, I don't know there could be though. Yeah. But anyway, please, please, please email us. Let us know what team you're on is again lie to your kids about Santa or not or isn't not lying. Lachey urchin@gmail.com.

Anne Sherry 57:47
So indeed, we do need to mention that Santa is a very it's not really a Christian model. It's an American model. What is it?

Alison Cebulla 57:54
What is I think it's I think it's a Nordic Scandinavian tradition. There was a whole thing I sent you that article about Santa may be hallucinogenic mushrooms. Wow. Because those the mushrooms that are white and red are like the Christmas colors. And so you remember midsummer where they're all high? Like, the entire movie can't even think about that movie. So it could be that people were getting high on mushrooms and celebrating Solstice around a Yule tree or whatever. And then that morphed into Santa. Well, we'll link to this article in the show notes. But Santa might be magic mushrooms

Anne Sherry 58:28
feel a new tradition coming on? Now I'm ready for Christmas. Yes. Okay.

Alison Cebulla 58:38
So I just want to say thank you so freakin much to everyone who submitted an app as my story. Oh, did you? Do you have one and mine? Mine is so short. Let me go. Let me go. Yeah, go ahead. So basically, my fucked up Christmas story. That's not the exact prompt. We're just kind of like, give us your childhood emotional neglect Christmas. But um, mine is that my when we were like five, we lived with my grandparents for a little bit when we first moved to the central coast of California. And so Christmas again, like I said, it's also birthday. So it's like, you know, really, really big for me. And my grandma and my aunt convinced me and who and like Tyler said, Who knows what's what was real or what's not like, Who knows how the memory works, but this is how I remember it is that they really really really convinced me I don't know for how long it felt like an eternity like days weeks that Christmas this year was canceled. And I

Anne Sherry 59:36
was so so

Alison Cebulla 59:44
that's abuse. I don't know what if they thought they were being funny or they may have only done it for like a day but it felt like a year do you only mean like who knows what the reality was? Like minutes or Yeah, yeah, knowingly. Forget

Anne Sherry 59:59
about that Yeah,

Alison Cebulla 1:00:00
yeah, but I really do have a story. I was like a suicidal five year old I really was like there's no point to go on living like if there's no Christmas why are we here?

Anne Sherry 1:00:11
Truly. So now I know why you're in that other camp. Okay, well here okay, I have a Scared Straight action on Christmas. Do you remember that like it's a terrible idea of kids that are in juvenile detention or whatever, you know, the Scared Straight stuff and they they they take them to adult prisons. So this is a side and then try to scare kids into behaving which is Oh, that's a terrible it's like the sound of that now it's it's the research is clear. That's fucked up. So, um, but it's was God what we were on a Harold. Dr. Grant, a lot of shit happened for me. I'm here. I'll drive because that was like, second grade. I was a firm believer in Santa Claus, for sure. Okay, and somehow didn't put this together. We did not get a lot of candy because we would just eat it up. Like we did on Christmas. We found Christmas candy, which I guess was from Santa, but we didn't know that. ate all of it. Just fucking tore through that candy. All three of us. Yes. So it was like a couple of days before Christmas. And and my parents were like, well, you're gonna get switches and you're, you know, the coal and the switches and you're socking like, Santa's happy. Oh, and I was in little bit of a rebellious place. I was like, whatever fucking Santa doesn't care. Santa has come in like yeah, he's not gonna do that. Lo and behold, my parents went through that motherfucking shit. They did there were sock witches in

Alison Cebulla 1:01:48
No wonder you like that woman's Big Little feelings. They don't tell your kids. They're bad. You have a wound there. You have you. You have

Anne Sherry 1:01:58
Scared Straight my shit up. That was for sure that rest that day. I was like, Oh my god. Santa is fucking real for real real. Oh. I was on his bad list for sure.

Alison Cebulla 1:02:13
But yeah, I mean, wound socks. That's like Shane. Poor little and yeah.

Anne Sherry 1:02:20
Alison, we went into the closet and ate all the candy. We left it. Wow, remember? I needed punishment. Right? No. Okay, but I just think like, you know what, actually, it was probably the 70s. And we probably ate it and the stores actually closed. Remember in the 70s there was like closing time and probably they couldn't go get more candy. And it was just what I

Alison Cebulla 1:02:51
just think that we often Yes, you're right. Earlier today we were talking about making sure people understand accountability. But I don't think I think punishing children for their natural curiosity and joy, which was like, Oh, we discovered this treasure trove. Kids don't have impulse control. Your your prefrontal cortex doesn't even fully develop until age 26. Like I literally had not one ounce of self control until I was twice that

Anne Sherry 1:03:14
you need to do a science corner on that marshmallows study. You know where thank God? Yes,

Alison Cebulla 1:03:20
that means yes, yes. I'll do a science corner on the marshmallow study. Okay, yeah, but um, um, the marshmallow was not have lasted more than a sec, but that study has been re evaluated that I heard it the kids who trusted that they were actually going to get a second marshmallow were the ones who could wait, but the kids who had negative distrustful attachment styles, right? didn't believe they didn't trust that there was going to be a second marshmallow coming it's way more about attachment than anything else. That's self discipline. Yeah, yeah.

Anne Sherry 1:03:54
I do know that. Okay, I had some attachment

Alison Cebulla 1:03:59
earlier on that I'm just saying like, so often a child's natural curiosity and joy is just absolutely punished and the kid is like oh my god some candy Yeah, this is so fun. And they don't they don't know to like I mean, you're like you're saying you knew in my memory i

Anne Sherry 1:04:15
i knew but

Alison Cebulla 1:04:21
Why punish it's not teaching you anything. It's not teaching you anything

Anne Sherry 1:04:24
being with my seven year old I am that feels so good. Thank you for telling me my seven year old was just a okay eating up all that candy. Yeah, it was it was like something though to like, I wish I

Alison Cebulla 1:04:38
could have. Yeah, come give you give something called and a big hug and say like, like more candy. Yeah, that's not what you wanted. You don't want hard. Candy? Yes, I wanted. I wanted more hugs.

Anne Sherry 1:04:55
By that time I would have been like, Oh, why are you hugging me that's faired. That's fair. Yeah, yeah, that needed to happen a little earlier. So, so happy holidays, everyone,

Alison Cebulla 1:05:05
whatever you celebrate and thanks for your

Anne Sherry 1:05:10
stories. Thanks for your just being human.

Alison Cebulla 1:05:14
And okay, like Tyler said, Yeah, we recognize that the holiday season can be tough for a variety of reasons. I highly highly, highly recommend calling a crisis hotline if you need it. I utilize crisis hotlines when I am having a moment where my list flipped and I'm like freaking out I call the crisis hotline and I go I'm I'm I'm I'm flipping out and they they talk me down there I've

Anne Sherry 1:05:39
worked in crisis services for a long time and by five years or so. Yes, please make use of them make use like really? Yeah.

Alison Cebulla 1:05:50
My mom volunteered or crisis hotline for most of my childhood she said yeah, it was you more boring than you would think it was because people don't call when they need it. So do call because these are trained people waiting to take your call and help you with an issue a crisis. And so I think oftentimes people diminish what they're going through like oh, I don't deserve to have counsel on the end and I'm telling you, whatever comes up for you this holiday season feel free to call and you deserve to be heard and these these these places exist it's a free amazing service. Yes,

Anne Sherry 1:06:24
these are no range therapy like no feeling is final. Okay? Yes. When I say that I'm like, What about no there's no feelings so you might want to call a

Alison Cebulla 1:06:35
few but I'm also saying I guess trigger warning or whatever but I'm saying like you don't have to be fully suicidal to call a crisis hotline I'm just saying like really really good point I'm that's what I'm trying to say. I'm not calling because I want to die. I'm calling because I'm I all like, my feeling becomes way way way too overwhelming for me to write and I'm afraid that I might make a decision like quit a job or make a big life decision that's gonna ruin everything. So I call and I go what something's coming up. I can't process it that out. And they just help you slow down and help you process and then you can like breathe and come back into the present moment and get on with your life.

Anne Sherry 1:07:15
Yes, don't let a feeling become a mood. Like hard to get out. And then a life a week, a month a year.

Alison Cebulla 1:07:23
Yes. Yeah. So check it out one plug, you know you can Google even like, like you could go Google like a like if you live in like Boston, like crisis hotline. Like there's local ones too. So there's national ones. There's local ones, Google it, we'll put it in the show notes. But there's some there's great free resources for everyone. So if you if something is coming up for you this holiday, yes. Call call. Yeah. Talk Talk to someone call friends. text a friend. Yeah. Make a Facebook post. Yeah. I don't know.

Anne Sherry 1:07:53
Someone texts you and says they need you to bear witness to something or speak with him for a little bit show up. Yeah. Oh, there's that part of me. That's telling you how

Alison Cebulla 1:08:04
I'm telling. I just told I know

Anne Sherry 1:08:07
what's going on here. We can we can kind of tell me a little bit. I don't

Alison Cebulla 1:08:11
know. We'll we'll work on it. You guys. Sorry. Yeah. Okay. Thanks for listening. Okay, bye.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai